so what's the blogging equivalent to auto-tune?

within 24 hours, i will be posting a new entry. the only reason i'm not right now is because the internet i'm stealing crapped out right as i tried to post the entry & i lost everything. including my sanity. so instead of attacking my computer like naomi campbell would an assistant, i'm going to watch a movie.

because i'm lame, enjoy this video instead. it made me l-o-l, as the kids say. it's the best i can do right now.

if you'll be my bodyguard, i can be your long lost pal

i was going to start this entry with "seriously, i am like the worst blogger ever," but then i realized that that's how i started my last entry. i think that pretty much proves my point. but at least this time it's only like 2 months between this entry & my last, so i mean, that has to count for something, right?

so what have i been up to? frankly the same old, same old. school is out for most people, but not me! i have at least 9, maybe 10 credits left before i get my diploma & get my ass handed to me in the real world. i'm pretty pumped. did i say pretty pumped? i meant scared as hell. but i'm sure we'll cover that when i have more to talk about. i haven't really done much except look for apartments for the big move here in 3 months. but it's kind of hard when the apartments you're interested in are 7 hours away. i also would kind of like an internship before i move, but who knows at this point. anyway, here's what this entry will be about: how i became a cat lady.

kids, this is trudy.

this picture was taken in march when i brought her home. she was about 5 months old at the time. so here's the backstory of how trudy & i came to be.

people are social creatures that mostly don't like to be alone. there are two kinds of people in this world: those who always need a significant other, and those who always need a pet. clearly, i am in the latter. my sophomore year of college (and the first year i wasn't living on campus), my roommate got a dog. now, while i normally love dogs, this one was a piece of shit. it was the whiniest bitch (literally) ever but freaked out if you touched her. my roommate never disciplined her so she got away with everything. like if i had food on the table & she got into it, i would get in trouble for leaving food for her to get, not her for jumping on the table & eating half of the pizza i just ordered (which she did). i hated that dog with a passion. the funny thing is, a lot of my friends thought i was overreacting. one of them actually lives in a house now with my old roommate & her fuck crazy dog. after about 2 days together, she called to apologize for not believing how lame this dog was.

so fast forward to junior year. i was in an apartment in a complex that allowed dogs. i was pumped because my parents said i could bring my dog from home to stay in akron.

here's said dog, sadie.

i got sadie for my 13th birthday, so i was super pumped when i realized she was coming to akron. then, 2 days after i signed my lease, my apartment complex switched to a no dog policy. (side note: my current neighbors got a puppy around the same time i got trudy, so who the hell knows what's going on anymore).

so here i am, with nothing more then a betta to love. fast forward a few months to november. around this time, my roommate also talks about how she wants a pet. she despises cats, but since it's all we can have, she's decided she'll settle for one. cue my friend, who just happens to have a cat she's no longer allowed to have. i guess her brother got it when her mom was on an extended vacay to jordan? i'm still not quite sure what happened, but i know her mom wanted them to get rid of it. i was unsure, but my roommate wanted it after seeing 1 picture. so, at 12:30 on a tuesday night, we went to my friends house to pick up the cat. the poor bastard was named puma, & since that name was retarded enough for us to make fun of him, i changed it to dangle, in honor of lt. jim dangle on reno 911. it was a bit of an adjustment for him because he was used to a huge house & was now in a little apartment.

he had some identity issues from the move.

what my friend failed to mention about dangle was how completely insane this cat is. as my mother so eloquently puts it, he "is full of piss & vinegar." i don't think i can completely describe the chaos this cat ensues. he would run from wall to wall of the apartment for hours at a time. he would decide not only that 4 am was the best time to play, but that he was only interested in pawing at my face. he hated being held for more then 3.6 seconds. basically, he's a bastard. but he's my bastard. my roommate that wanted him so bad ended up not being a fan, having admitted on many occasions that she like to throw him against the wall or kick him across the room. for the obvious reasons he hung around me. when it was time to move out, as much as i liked him, there was no way in hell i could take him to an even smaller apartment. as fate would have it, absolutely no animal shelter in summit county was taking cats. so i did the same thing with him as i did with a lot of the stuff i couldn't take to my new apartment: sent him to my parents.

so now, at my parents, they have my dog and my cat. they get along for the most part, give or take a few times when dangle starts picking on sadie & she chases him around before eventually kicking his ass (my heart will always belong to sadie so i'm always on her side). my dad kept threatening to give dangle away cause he didn't like him, but after about a month, my mom said he would pet & play with dangle when he thought no one was around.

now it's july 08 & i have no pet. i ended up getting a hamster on an impulse buy, only realizing halfway home that i hate all rodents. i think the chick at petsmart must have known cause she picked the worst hamster ever. all he does is bite. i've never actually held him cause he's bitten me every time i've tried to. so here i am, all alone with no pet. october rolls around & i'm not doing well. classes are rough & my grandfather is quickly losing his battle with cancer. on october 2nd, i got a call from my dad saying i should get home as soon as possible because my grandpa took a turn for the worse. i ended up leaving in the middle of class & getting home as fast as possible. after i go in to see my grandpa for a bit, i headed back to my car to bring my stuff in. as i'm opening the trunk, i heard something. i walked over to the bush i have parked by to see that one of the stray cats that call my parents' garage home had had 6 kittens. they were so tiny and so cute, so i instantly knew i would someday be bringing one back to akron with me. i informed my mom, who instantly becomes a sort of florence nightingale (or whatever a vet equivalent would be) to the kittens. obviously it was awhile before we knew the sex of the kittens or anything, but when i was back home in december for the holidays, i picked out one i liked & named her trudy for my other favorite character from reno 911.

so knowing i would take trudy with me sooner or later, my mom started spoiling her. she would bring her into the house to get accustomed to it & what not. i told my mom that i'd be bringing trudy back with me on spring break, so i wanted her to be taken to the vet & get checked up before i did so. my sister did a few days later only to come back with some sad news: trudy had feline leukemia. the vet flat out told me sister that they should just put her down cause there was nothing they could do. my sister asked if they could give trudy dewormer & the basic shots a kitten needs, they said no because trudy had to be put down. when my sister declined, the vet argued with her. my sister basically told the vet to fuck off before leaving the room. none of us believed the findings because trudy didn't seem sick & she didn't have any of the symptoms. some of the other strays around my parents' did, but not her. i ended up bringing her back with me anyway. i took her to the vet a few weeks ago for a check up since the last vet did nothing but try to put her down. my vet told me that trudy does in fact have leukemia, but she will be okay as long as i keep her from other cats. he gave her all her shots & dewormer & everything. he also told me to tell my mom to never take any of our pets to that vet ever again (apparently that vet wasn't our regular vet, so that won't be a problem).

so here we are. a few months ago, trudy was supposedly a goner. as i type this, she's asleep on my lap. she's fine. maybe i'm a little biased, but she's quite possibly the greatest cat ever. she plays fetch religiously. like she'll bring me her ball, i'll throw it, & she'll bring it back. this can go on for at least an hour, and has. her favorite place to hang out is in my tub. she lays there while i get ready in the morning. she love, love, loves yogurt. she will climb on me & try to eat it out of my bowl. she loves to climb into the plastic packages that hold 24 bottles of water. she loves knocking the letter magnets off my fridge. when she knocks them all off, she meows until i put them back up so she can knock them all off again. if you need more proof then that, come meet her. all of my friends that have love her.

so why did i decide to keep her even after she was given a death sentence? my grandpa died the day after trudy was born. as lame as it sounds, it's almost like she was meant to be here to help me when i needed it. as one thing left my life, another thing entered. part of it's also the "she will die" & proving that asshole vet wrong. trudy is the only kitten from that litter that survived (only 2 of them made it march, her & her brother "jonesy." he died last week), so i think that means something too. she's a fighter. i'm sure this all sounds really dumb to most people, but it doesn't matter. she's coming with me when i move in august, so again, she'll be the thing that keeps me sane.

this is why i'm a cat lady. i take pictures of her, tell stories about her to friends, etc. i'm like 1 fabric paint sweatshirt & foam visor away from being my own worst nightmare. who knows? maybe i'll set a trend for chique cat ladies. we shall see... i hope you enjoyed this post. feel free to comment & let me know. until next time...

watching: see "listening to" cause it pretty much explains everything.

reading: like most americans, nothing. but i swear, i have a valid reason. i just ended my 2nd to last semester of college a few days ago & was doing nothing but intense school work for the last month or so. i honestly have been working on little children for like 6 months now. i know in my last post i said i wanted to finish it by april. clearly, that didn't happen. so now i'm gonna be realistic & say i wanna finish it by the time i move in august. that can probably happen. probably.

listening to: paul simon - you can call me al
first of all, if you don't like this song, there's a good chance your a nazi sympathizer, or at the very least a pedophile. how someone can't like this song is completely beyond me. and if the song wasn't great enough on it's own, can we talk about how it has like the 2nd greatest video of all time?! (the honor of greatest video of all time goes to a-ha's "take on me". any video that features pencil drawn comic book characters running from scandinavian motorcycle punks while still managing to sing in a falsetto deserves that honor. even the parodies are hilarious [pss: watch that whole video - there's a surprise at the end]. plus, it was in family guy, so double trouble.) anyway, back to what i was originally talking about: the "you can call me al" video. okay, so chevy chase is infamous for being a douche, it's no secret. but how can you not love the 6'4" buffoon as he steals the thunder from 5'2" paul simon? simon looks downright bored the whole video while chase eats it up. plus the dancing. oh, the dancing. it's great. but yeah. great song, great video. read 'em & weep.

off in the night while you live it up, i'm off to sleep...

seriously, i am like the worst blogger ever. larry king is probably a better blogger than i am & he's half dead. wait... does larry king have a blog? i should probably look into that before i make wild accusations. (on a side note, i am also a horrible speller. how did i spell accusations before spell check told me i was a freaking moron? acuzations. that's what almost 16 years of the American educational system gets you)

anyway, i teased you all (and by "you all" i mean like the two people that read this) with promises of new entries, only to slip back into the darkness we call reality. lame, i know. but that's what you get when your faithful ferocia has to deal with stuff like her final semester of college and finding a big kid job and what not. it's not like the economy is a giant shitstorm & i have anything to worry about, right? right? blurgh.

so what am i up to, you ask? well like i said, i'm trying to survive my final "real" semester of college. i call it "real" cause i'll be taking classes this summer, but none are for my major & none of them really seem to matter. so this is the last semester that counts. i'm also about to begin the process of applying for internships, & let me tell you, this is scary as hell. the thought of trying to impress someone & having to compete with others to get an unpaid postion is terrifying to me. what if i'm not good enough? what if every position i apply for, i'm applying against someone with better training, or even worse, better connections? frankly, i almost freak out when i start thinking about it too much, so, moving on...

spring break is next week. i wish i could tell you that i'll be living it up in palm beach or exploring the big apple, but alsa, my plans aren't that grand... i'll be exploring the beautiful city of akron, ohio! yeah! oh, and i can't forget the 4 days i'll be spending at my parents' house, which is even worse then just having to stay in akron, cause at least there's stuff to do in akron.

seriously, spring break is so lame. 4 years of college and the most extreme thing i've ever done during spring break is go to cleveland for a show. i'm doing that tonight. so basically, spring break for me is just like a regular day except i don't go to class. nothing to write home about, therefore = lame. i'm skipping class right now (well not technically... it starts at 10:30 so i'll be skipping it in 2 minutes). i'm not even on campus. this semester is just weird. le sigh.

well, i know i keep saying it, but i def plan on updating this more as time goes on. i'll be applying to those said internships within the next two weeks, so i should have a bit of free time before interviews start or however the hell they work. i've pretty much already checked out this semester, so why not use a bit of my brain by blogging. ha, that sounds like an oxymoron. anyway. i'll see you kids soon.

watching: knocked up, with audio commentary
seth rogen, judd apatow, & bill hader do the commentary for the movie & it's freaking hilarious. if you know me at all, you know how i'm a sucker for audio commentaries... like as soon as i watch a movie, i watch it again with the commentary on. i can quote the commentary as much as certain films/tv shows (ie: the family guy commentaries. i listen to those prob more then i watch the actual show - which is quite a lot, so yeah). anyway, judd talks about what it was like working with his actual daughters, hader rotates through a few of the impressions he does, & seth laughs a lot. how can you go wrong?

reading: still little children
proof positive that i've been busy as sin lately: i'm reading the same book that i started in january. i hope to finish it by april. i'll let you know how that works out.

listening to: kings of leon - use somebody
remember when i said that sometimes, when i listen to a song, i get instantly hooked & that it's like the only song i can listen to for like weeks at a time? well, let's welcome "use somebody" by kings of leon to the club. i can seriously listen to this song for hours at a time. and i have. love, love, love it. if you like this song (or "sex on fire") check out their cd, only by the night. it's absolutely amazing. one of the best cds i've ever listened to. & that's saying a lot.

so this is the new year...

be ready for a comeback, bitches.
(just not at 6:45 in the morning like it currently is... comebacks don't start until at least 9am est).

but i'll give you a little sumthin sumthin...

a preview of upcoming post?
why the hell are children's chapter books so god damn depressing?

and a picture for your troubles:



watching: arrested development, season 3
i didn't watch arrested development when it was on tv, & frankly it's a damn shame. i'm about halfway or so through season 3 & love it. it truly is one of the greatest television shows of all time.

reading: the other boleyn girl -or- little children
i say "or" because i haven't decided which one i'm going to read next. i finished reading the virgin suicides earlier tonight so i haven't started a new book yet. i've also come to the conclusion that i pretty much only read books that have been made into movie or will be made into movies, which basically makes me a giant douche. yay.

listening to: "flightless bird, american mouth" by iron & wine
to be completely honestly, i've listened to this song at least once a day since the beginning of november. i'm not kidding. at all. it's also one of my ringtones. it's really quite ridiculous. now let's just get it out there: part of the reason i love it is cause it was in twilight & i am a fucking twilighter nerd of epic proportions (which we won't get into because i'm sure i'll do a post dedicated to that disappointing aspect of my life someday soon), but it's also just a beautiful song. sure, the lyrics are a little squirrelly (& by squirrelly i mean fucking non-sense), but what are you gonna do. & yes, i picked the cheesiest, corniest video i could find on youtube. & i watched the whole thing. twice. favorited. & now i wanna see twilight again. woe is the life of me.

don't call it a comeback! cause i already did.

i really should be sleeping... or packing... or anything constructive.

yeah, bitches. play along!

Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
Find a quote from each movie.
Post them for everyone to guess.
Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
No cheating. That includes search engines such as Google and IMDB's internal search engine.

1. I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.
   
   
2. Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?
   
   
3. Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die Hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.
   
   
4. Head up, young person.
   
   
5. That's good, Todd! Tell that mean ocean!
   
   
6. But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
   
   
7. His name is Blane? Oh! That's a major appliance, that's not a name!
   
   
8. Watch me. Watch me walkin' away. Watch me walkin' away from Jesus!
   
   
9. Could be worse.
   How?
   Could be raining.
   
   
10. Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?
    
    
11. Everything I've done, I've done for you. I move the stars for no one.
    
    
12. I'll tell you what he said! He asked me to forcibly insert the lifeline exercise card into my anus!
    
    
13. Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.
    
    
14. Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government!
    
    
15. Sweetheart, you can't buy the necessities of life with cookies.

so get to guessing punk! here's a video to enjoy if the quote above are overwhelming...

ducks fly together!

hey kiddies. it's been over a week since my last entry. for that i apologize. i really have no excuse for not writing seeing as i sit around my apartment doing nothing but watching tv pretty much all day every day. i especially could be writing when i'm wide awake at 4:30 in the morning "enjoying" my insomnia. oh, what a thrilling life i lead. anyway, back to the blog...

so i was torn between what to write about for this entry. being the uber geek that i am, i made out a list of things to cover in different entries (which was read over by a friend, yet he didn't really say anything about any of the topics. a lot of help there, especially since he knows i can't make a decision to save my life). like i said, uber geek. anyway, after much thought & deliberation i've decided that i need to cover a very intense subject matter: the mighty ducks movies.


now i know what you're thinking: the mighty ducks movies are just like any other kids movies with a sports team. some hard ass is forced to coach a team of underdogs. as he spends more time with the kids, his heart of stone turns to gold and his new positive attitude helps the kids get better & win the championship. sorry if i just ruined a bunch of movies for you.

but in case your parents didn't love you enough to allow you to see these movies growing up, here is the exact plot of the first two movies in the franchise, the mighty ducks & it's sequel d2: the mighty ducks, as copied from wikipedia, because imdb's plot summaries sucked.

the mighty ducks, 1992
After being charged with drunk driving, a lawyer named Gordon Bombay (Emilio Estevez) is sentenced to community service, coaching hockey, a sport he claimed to hate. There, he meets the District 5 peewee hockey team, a team of perennial losers who finish at the bottom of the league standings year after year. They are shut out every game and lose by at least five goals. The players learn that Bombay was once a player for the Hawks, an elite team in the same league, but left hockey because of the embarrassment that followed after a failed attempt at a penalty shot at the end of regulation, causing the Hawks to eventually lose in overtime, costing them a peewee championship. With the help of Coach Bombay, and a desperately needed infusion of cash and equipment, the players learn the fundamentals of the game. Soon enough, the District 5 team (now christened the Ducks, after Bombay's employer, Mr. Ducksworth) start winning games and manage to make the playoffs, eventually reaching the finals and adding a new player, Adam Banks, an ex-Hawk who is a talented player and an asset for the Ducks. Bombay faces the Hawks, the team he grew up playing for, still led by Jack Reilly (Lane Smith), the same coach Bombay played for. Fittingly, the Ducks win the title game on a penalty shot by Bombay's own protége, Charlie Conway (Joshua Jackson).

d2: the mighty ducks, 1994
Inspired by his own players, Bombay decides to try out in the minor leagues. After a career-ending knee injury, he is offered a chance to coach a team representing the United States in the Junior Goodwill Games. For this, he reunites his Ducks and introduces them to five new players from across the country to form Team USA. However, the lure of celebrity becomes a distraction to both Bombay and the players, and reality kicks in when they lose against Team Iceland in an embarrassing defeat. Frustrated, Bombay drives his players even harder, yet Team USA continues to suffer, until they come across a street hockey team who teaches them how to play like "the real Team USA." (Here, a new player emerges, Russ Tyler (Kenan Thompson), who earlier mocked Team USA during its matches). Bombay realizes that the most important thing is to have fun. After a change in attitude, the Ducks redeem themselves by working up the playoffs ladder to once again meet Team Iceland in the finals. This time Team USA proves to be a match for Iceland, but the game ends in a tie, resulting in a shootout, which the Ducks win.

anyway, i grew up watching the mighty ducks movies. well, the first 2 anyway. i never saw the 3rd one & like to pretend it never happened (i like to think that most of the cast does as well). i love those movies. i still watch them now, hence the reason for this entry. but, as i grow in knowledge & wisdom, i'm starting to notice and nitpick at things that didn't bother me when i was 7 years old. so, for that very reason, here are 5 things that i think about when watching the mighty ducks movies.

1. joshua jackson is damn unrecognizable.
   
   
   
   
   
   joshua jackson in the mighty ducks. his hair cut only got a little better in d2.
   
   
   
   
   okay, so you know how sometimes you see an actor as a kid & then again as an adult but you don't realize it's the same person? that's how i was with joshua jackson. when i saw the name joshua jackson pop on the screen during the credits of the first season of "dawson's creek", i knew it sounded familiar, but didn't know where it was from. then one day i saw a promo for some saturday afternoon showing of the mighty ducks that said "and joshua jackson from tv's dawson's creek". i almost had a heart attack. pacey whitter, the kid who slept with his english teacher is little charlie conway?! surely they gest! i think the biggest reason i had doubt was because not only did he look different, but his voice was crazy different. check out 2:31 in the video for a tastey-poo. & sorry about the lack of jj in the video, youtube let me down big time.
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. the character adam banks always gets hurt.
   
   so adam banks, played by vincent larusso, is the kid that has genuine talent in the movies. he was always good. in the first movie, he originally played for the super team & ducks enemy, the hawks, until coach bombay saw he actually lived in district 5, meaning he should play for the ducks. uh-oh. after awhile, the ducks finally accept banks, but his former team hates him. so of course, when the ducks have to play the hawks for the championship, shit's gonna go down! & go down it does: one of the hawks slams adam head first into the goal post hard enough to dent his helmet & give him a concussion. you'd think banks would of paid his dues. nope. in d2, some douche from an opposing team whacks him in the wrist bad enough to keep him from playing in most of the junior goodwill games (except the final championship game... shocka). so what's my point?
   
   almost no one else on the ducks (or team usa as they're called in d2) really gets hurt except adam banks. he doesn't just get hurt: he gets his ass handed to him in both film. i wonder if it was in his contract to make him look seem like a bad ass, cause as the picture above shows, he didn't look like one.
   
   
   
3. apparently winning the minnesota state pee wee championship qualifies your team to become team usa in the junior goodwill games.
   
   
   this is probably my biggest gripe with the movie now. obviously when i was 8 this wasn't an issue. but my question now is, just how did the ducks become team usa? in the movie (we're onto d2 now), coach bombay has just ended a short run in the minors because of a knee injury. because of his success not only in the minors, but with the ducks, he is asked to coach team usa in the junior goodwill games. that's fine. that i believe.
   what i don't believe is that the people who decide who is on the team would be okay with coach bombay just using his entire team (minus a few characters that weren't memorable enough to need to be in the sequel). yeah, the ducks won a state championship & overcame incredible odds to do so. but what made them so much better than any other state championship winning team? was team idaho not allowed to leave because the junior goodwill games were during the harvest? was team alaska (the team we'd assume would be representing our country in an ice sport) to busy hunting polar bears? i mean seriously, a few of the ducks & then kids from other teams would of been fine, but it's almost the whole team plus like 5 new kids who only get to play when they can save the day.
   plus they change into their duck uniforms half way through the championship game against iceland (which is green, not covered in ice, like greenland... yeah, okay). if i was at home watching the junior goodwill games, i'd be pissed when these kids came out repping their old team & not team usa. but then again, if i'm at home watching the junior goodwill games i'm probably also an unregistered children's sex offender. come & get me, benson & stabler. i'm ready.
   
   
   
4. queen songs are overplayed; just like real sporting events.
   
   i love queen. love love love them. like i know they did more songs than just "bohemian rhapsody", "we will rock you", & "we are the champions". that's why i roll my eyes & sigh every time i hear a queen song play during a sporting event (or even now, a dr. pepper commercial). so you can understand how i'm annoyed with the campfire sing along of "we are the champions" that is featured above from the end credits of d2.
   of course, it's not half as depressing as the scene in the mighty ducks where "we will rock you" has been transformed into "we will quack you". freddie mercury was probably spinning in his grave fast enough to generate electricity for the city of los angeles for 3 weeks.
   
   
   
   
   
5. all of the fat kids were cast in the movie heavyweights, 1995.
   

the 3 large boned individuals above were in both heavyweights & 1 (if not both) of the mighty duck movies. from left to right we have shaun weiss (josh in heavyweights, goldberg in the mighty ducks & d2), aaron schwartz (gerry, karp in the mighty ducks), and the one you probably recognize, kenan thompson (roy, russ tyler in d2).

we all know disney used to enjoy only having to pay like 5 people and make all of their live action movies (see hayley mills & dean jones, both with at least 6, including 1 they did together). but by the mid 90's, you think disney would of had enough cash to get some fresh blood in there*. now i know that all 3 of the movies were written/directed by the same guy, but come on. it's not like they couldn't find any other fat kids to cast. i think i just didn't like it cause i was still young enough to not really be able to differentiate between characters & i couldn't understand why goldberg was sent to a fat camp when he should be practicing cause he was still the world's shittiest goalie. but whatevs. i still love all these movies.
*apparently disney just fears change. how many movies did they cast lindsay lohan in? like 5 or 6? they probably only stopped casting her because they didn't want the disney name associated with fire crotches.

so that's that. probably the longest blog every one's ever done on the mighty duck movies. i wonder if this will come up on a google search? seeing as how most of the cast ended their acting careers with these movies, i bet a majority of them have nothing better to do than google their names all day hoping some nutcase mentions them while dissecting their movies. one can only hope.

-ferocia



side note: i finished spider-man 3... & i completely regret it. between *spoiler alerts!* peter parker's "bad ass" dance routine, the cheesiness of harry's death, & the sandman floating away into the sunset, i've never been more disappointed in a movie in my entire life. i actually shook my head in shame as the end credits rolled on. no joke. & they might be making another one? please, someone just take that franchise out back & put it out of its misery.

watching: the office: season 2. i looooooove the office. i've seen every episode at least 3 times. i wish i was kidding, but what can i say, i have a lot of free time. anyway, season 4 doesn't come out until september 2nd which might just well kill me. i was watching season 3 yesterday & i came to the conclusion that i don't like watching it cause karen filippelli is a bitch. team pb & j (or if you prefer, team jam) forever!

reading: currently nothing, because i'm about to be stuck in a car for 12 plus hours with my parents as we road trip it to chicago. please, if you're reading this: pray for me. not only because i'll be with my parents in a car that long, but because last time i went to chicago i ended up in the hospital & i don't really wanna make that a tradition.
anyway the book i shall be reading to pass the time is the x-files: book of the unexplained. feel free to pass your judgment now...

listening to: girl talk "feed the animals" cd. if you have time, click on the link & listen to the cd.
so here's the thing: i. love. mashups. like embarrassingly love mash ups. what are mash ups, you ask? (which i hope you aren't you aren't cause if you are, well, this probably just isn't the right place for you. but if you don't you take part of this song & part of that song & put them together to make musical glory). well this cd is probably the greatest thing i've ever heard. & i've heard a lot. anyway, you can download said cd, for free, here.

and so it begins...

well here it is... i, ferocia, have decided to jump on the blogging bandwagon. sure, i'm about a year (or 3) behind the trend, but i figure there's no time like the present. so let's take this nice & slow. we don't wanna start too hard & finish too early (that's what she said). to begin, i know pretty much nothing about "blogger" or how to work it. it's not like i'm some 74 year old woman who's only online to see pictures of her grandson nicholas at his soccer game or anything; i've just never sat down & tried to figure this stuff out. i was a xanga whiz kid about 4 or so years ago, but then i graduated high school & developed a life. sorta. basically i'm just saying that it's gonna take me awhile to tweak & settle on a layout that i like. deal with it.

i also don't use capital letters unless i feel like yelling at you across the world wide web. capital letters are overrated in my book.

so as you might have noticed, i didn't actually state my real name. i have no intention to anytime soon. that may seem weird, or even downright paranoid to some people. i guess it's just because most of the people on the internet are fucking creepers & i'm not about to become the main story of a sweeps week episode of "20/20". is that show even on the air anymore? they probably cancelled it because john stossel was such a little whiny bitch... "oh, you're fruit juice is only 97% juice, not 100% juice like your bottle says." go blow yourself, mr. stossel. yeah, i said it.

anyway, the main reason for starting the blog that i hope you're still reading is, simply put: i like to think i'm a funny person. not so much funny in the stand up comedian sense (which i personally think i would blow at, but that's for another entry altogether), but more in the "i always have a sarcastic remark or quick one liner to add to everything" way.

(if you're reading this, there's a good chance you're one of my friends who's nodding along as you read. if you're not one of my friends, you're probably in that "fucking creeper" group i mentioned earlier.)

before i get back to my main point, here's head's up... if you don't like things that don't move in a linear fashion, i am not a person you should communicate with. talking with me is like talking to the movie "vanilla sky" (except the part where i don't fucking suck): i'm all over the place with tangents & side notes & such randomness that you'll probably wonder what the fuck is going on. we could start a discussion on the risk of polar bears becoming endangered & end it on how the holy roman empire was neither holy nor roman nor an empire (discuss!). i also curse. if you keep a bible in you're bedside table like a hotel room, this isn't really the place for you either. unless you need someone to hate. in that case, i welcome you with open, unbaptized arms.

speaking of sinners & what not, i'd like to bring up a little something something that slightly connects all the randomness you've taken in so far. or something like that... anyway, i just saw a little clip of a porno (yeah, i said porno. shock! gasp! le sigh! whatevs, i'm over it.) that featured someone i know. & i use the term "know" loosely because i've seen this person maybe 2 times & both were fairly awkward enough to make me want to forget said times. but that's not the point of this little sidetrack that we've taken. as i was reading the description & what not about this "film" (i also use that term loosely), i noticed that this person was not only using a fake name, but also lied about their age. the person is over 18, so it's not really a big deal or anything, but it annoyed me. then i realized that i was more upset that this person lied about their name & age than the fact that they were in a porno.

this is not normal thinking to most people. but then, as you may have already noticed, i'm not most people. i'm what some people would call liberal... others would call me a godless heathen. you say potato, i say istanbul. i'm used to the wacky right wing backlash (say that 5 times fast). i was best known in high school for being the girl who accepted alternative lifestyles and made another girl cry during a debate on abortion (in case you were wondering, the infamous statement was something along the lines of "well would you abort your baby if you knew it was gay?". it was a one two punch that was probably one of the proudest moments of my life.) but that's what happens when you live in the middle of god's country, attending a tiny conservative high school (less than 200 students for grades 9-12) of bible thumpers who have prayer at the pole while you skip school to watch "maury" or "the rocky horror picture show". & in case you're judging that last statement about skipping school to watch "maury", it was usually for the episodes involving kids with weird deformities or crazy makeovers. it's called "prioritizing", people.

so yeah. that's just a little taste of me & what you can expect from this blog. i'm sure as my posts continue, we'll dive even further into the subjects we've only touched base on so far, such as religion, homosexuality, abortion, etc. you know, all the hot button issues most people try to avoid. i'll be doing the opposite. i'll be getting uncomfortably close to them, if you will. if you won't, i don't care. it's going to be a good time. so until then here's how i got my blog name (in case you didn't know because you were living under a rock... or one of those poor countries where they don't have tvs or food or whatevs)...



-ferocia

watching: spider-man 3. i'm less than halfway through & regretting it already. i don't remember the venom shit turning spider-man into an emo pussy in the original comic books or anything, but i never really read them so what do i know?

*side note: james franco's lazy eye (his left, i believe) freaks me out. i google image searched "james franco lazy eye" but nothing came up. balls.
*side note part 2, still about james franco: i've also decided that i don't like him when he's playing anything but daniel desario in "freaks & geeks". i miss that show...

reading: "i am america (and so can you!)" by stephen colbert. i've actually only read the intro but it's good so far. plus anything stephen colbert touches is glorious in my mind. except his ben & jerry's ice cream. yuck.

listening to: clair de lune by debussy. before you go bananas trying to figure out what it's from: the bellagio fountain scene of oceans 11. that's not why i'm currently in love with it, but we'll discuss that later...